I believe …

I believe that I, Susanne McMillan, will cease to exist upon my death in any way shape or form. I will not go to heaven or hell, will not reincarnate as another person, an apple maggot or a seagull. I will no longer exist as an entity.

I believe that all of me will be recycled. Our earth is an enclosed biosphere were everything that ever was is still here, and will be here until the end of earth. So every atom and every spark of energy that composes me as me will be recycled into new forms of life.

It follows that I do not believe in ghost, angels, or spirits.

So how do I explain Carly coming back for the occasional nightly visit?

The first time I chalked it up to wishful thinking. It’s a little harder the second time around.

I got up to go pee in the dead of night, stepped over Leo, stepped over Carly and went to do my business. While I sat there it hit me that I could not have stepped over Carly, she’s dead! When I returned to the bedroom, Carly was gone, as she should have been, never having been there in the first place.

But I know: I saw her and I stepped over her.

Second time, again the dead of night, again I was getting up to use the bathroom. Earlier, when I had closed up for the night, everybody but Leo had come in. So I decided to open up the sliding door and let him in if he was on the deck. I slid the door open and a dog slipped past me outside. I figured it to be George. Leo came in, and I proceeded to call George. George, being an obedient boy, showed up. From behind me. He had slept on the chair. I did a head count. All accounted for.

So who brushed past me out the door?

Back to Top