Dear Carly

Now and forever

 

What can I say – you were my best friend, my companion through a lot of turmoil, you were there when I need you most.

Years have passes, and I miss you the same as the day you died.

I truly believe that there are spirits that are meant for each other. And with luck they meet. With a lot of luck they meet several times.

Sheba and I, we understood each other on a deeper base than just a dog and and her human.

Sammy, ever so briefly with me, was of that same spirit.

Then you came into my life. You saw me at the pound and you let me know that we needed to be “we”. I wasn’t looking for for an adult dog. But seeing you all my intentions went by the wayside. There was something about you that said “She’s it!”

And you were IT, and THAT, and ALL.

I know I have been blessed with a form of your spirit now twice and YOU, the whole you, once. More luck than seems possible.

And still I am asking for you to return just one more time in my life.

I’m old, I don’t have that much more to live.

I don’t believe in the Rainbow Bridge, and a happy life romping around heaven. So here and now is it for us.

But you and I are at the mercy of the forces that are. We meet, we don’t meet. There is nothing we can do to make it happen.

There is no one to ask, or we can ask but there is no one who cares.

Our influence never reaches far enough to change the real important things in our lives. Who we meet, how long we get to be together.

It’s the losses that shape a lot of my outlook. I feel like it’s preparing for my death. When I have lost enough to truly understand the cycle or when I just can’t take it anymore, then I’m ready to go too.

I suspect it will be the latter. The day comes when I look around and all I ever loved are either gone or dead, and there is no more reason to make my body get up and go though another day.

It is the human capacity for Hope that keeps us going.

Every day you get up and hope to eek out a little happiness today. Of course it requires blocking out the overwhelming misery that we as humans inflict on each other and the planet daily.

But mostly we manage.

With my animals I manage.

The love of a dog is simply love. There are no agendas, there is no deceit.

It is clean love.

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